


Pet Policy

by StarGazerGamer



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Bringing chaos, Gen, Having pets isn't so bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-12-06 21:33:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11609388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarGazerGamer/pseuds/StarGazerGamer
Summary: Shepard brings Urz onto the Normandy for some pet inspired chaos.





	Pet Policy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MalcolmInSpace](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MalcolmInSpace/gifts).



“You aren’t really going to take the varren onto the ship, are you?” Garrus looked down at Commander Shepard with the turian’s equivalent of a raised eyebrow. Mordin stood next to him and was already looking up the necessary information to care for the poor beast. He knew when he was at a disadvantage so he just gave up arguing. “Fine, but you’ll be the one explaining to Joker why there’s a varren running around the Normandy’s bridge.” Shepard grinned up at him with a bright smile on her face as Urz sat at her feet.

“Come on big fella. Want to go fly with us on the Normandy?” Shepard extended her hand and Urz’s body fairly shook with ecstasy as she stroked his head. “All right then. Come on.” Shepard walked towards the docking bay and turned to call him forward. Urz stayed on her heels as they made it into the ship. The surroundings were unfamiliar to the varren, all he knew was the solid dirt under his paws on Tuchanka. These metal floors took some getting used to, and he figured out he couldn’t get any traction rather quickly.

“Shepard! Your blasted pet has chewed on my desk again!” Miranda yelled from her office next to the medical bay. Shepard was sitting with Urz on the floor while she fed him some of his favorite snack. The pair both turned their heads towards Miranda’s office as she poked her head out the door.

“He’s just a little puppy Miranda! He didn’t mean it!” Shepard scratched under his chin and Urz almost melted onto the floor. “Little puppy my ass!” Miranda yelled out from her office. The varren’s tongue lolled out as he flopped onto his belly for more scratches. Living on the ship wasn’t so bad. He had regular food and a nice clean place to sleep. Not to mention all the scratches he could want as he’d won over most of the crew.

Thane poked his out of the life support bay as he heard scratching at the door. “Ah, have you come to meditate as well Urz?” The varren laid down beside the drell as he began to meditate. Urz sensed the man was in constant pain and this helped relax him. He enjoyed the peace and quiet that came with being close to Thane as well. It was a good, cool place to nap. Thane would often rub the bristles on his back with little fear, which kept them clean. There was one thing that Urz hated most of all on the ship.

“Bath time!” Urz heard Shepard’s voice ring out and he had begun to understand what _that_ particular tone meant. It meant water and soap. His claws couldn’t get any traction as he made his escape. “Jack!” Shepard cried out and he heard the heavy sigh. Suddenly he was lifted off the ground in a biotic field, a tingly, not unpleasant sensation. He turned his eyes to the woman covered in markings with a silent plea in them.

“Oh no. Don’t turn those sad eyes on me. You stink buddy. Better be glad it’s not the Cerberus cheerleader giving you the bath.” Jack told him as she pushed him into the bathroom where Shepard was waiting with the brush. The door snapped shut behind her and the howls and curses filled the floor as Shepard got him clean. After thirty minutes, the duo came out with Urz making a beeline for the main gunnery and Shepard looking as if _she_ was the one who took the bath.

“Spirits! Shepard!” Garrus yelled out as Urz snuck under the gun to rub his skin against the side of the machine. Shepard poked her head in and spotted him.

“Urz! I just gave you a bath!” The frustration threaded her voice even as she laughed and Urz merely sat on his haunches and looked up at her with adoring eyes. His tongue flopped out of his mouth as he looked so proud of himself.

“Sounds like you’ve got your hands full there Shep.” Kasumi giggled as she appeared behind Shepard and Garrus. Garrus just pointed out of the room and Urz slunk out. He recognized he would win no favors from the turian right now. “Come on Urz. I’ll give you some snacks.” Kasumi placed her hand gently on Urz’s head and he trotted out after her.

“You should teach him to fight our enemies. He was a pit fighter after all. Damned thing needs to earn his keep.” Zaeed grumbled as he fed Urz some of the beef from his dinner.

“Keep talking. I see that soft heart under there.” Chakwas smiled at Zaeed who looked away, flustered to be called out like that. Urz looked between the two of them and went off in search of more to eat. The ship was always full of someone who would feed him.

“Commander. Isn’t there anyway to keep the walking maw of teeth from getting to the pilot’s console?” Joker complained as Shepard walked up to him. She lifted an eyebrow and crossed her arms as she _knew_ that Joker kept snacks up there for Urz.

“Mr. Moreau, if you did not wish Urz to join you at the console, perhaps it would be wise to not stock his favorite snacks here.” Joker grumbled about being sold out by the bot as Shepard threw back her head and laughed. It seemed everyone on the ship had a soft spot for the varren. He added a touch of chaos to what otherwise would have been a too serious quest. Not to mention he annoyed the Illusive Man by hiking up his leg and peeing on his holographic image.


End file.
